CIA CEO = Agent 1

Center Intelligent Agency
We Work For Crazy People!

Finally, a freelance agency specializing in mentally special clients! Are you tired of agencies refusing your tasks because they see them as impossible, or quoting you insane prices for basic projects? We will generously gift you several hours of FREE SERVICES to achieve your literal dreams. We can do anything because we believe in ourselves!

For Clients:
Get Hired:

WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

⚙️ Our Services ⚙️

All Types of Programming
Web Design
Custom Artificial Intelligence
Cloud Computing
HTML & CSS & JS
Python & Web Automation
Amazon Web Services
Cloudflare
Django & React & NextJS
Dreamhost
OpenAI API
Google Sheets Automation
GitHub
Cyber Security
All Types of Programming
Web Design
Custom Artificial Intelligence
Cloud Computing
HTML & CSS & JS
Python & Web Automation
Amazon Web Services
Cloudflare
Django & React & NextJS
Dreamhost
OpenAI API
Google Sheets Automation
GitHub
Cyber Security
Sales & Customer Support
Lead Generation
Google Maps Data Mass Harvesting
Cold Calling
Personalized Cold Email
Social Media Direct Message Outreach
Customer Relationship Management Systems
Investor Introductions & Preparations
Sales & Customer Support
Lead Generation
Google Maps Data Mass Harvesting
Cold Calling
Personalized Cold Email
Social Media Direct Message Outreach
Customer Relationship Management Systems
Investor Introductions & Preparations
Virtual Assistance
Data Entry
Research
eCommerce Product Upload
Travel Planning
Community Management
Calendar Management
Vendor & Supplier Research
Virtual Assistance
Data Entry
Research
eCommerce Product Upload
Travel Planning
Community Management
Calendar Management
Vendor & Supplier Research
Graphic Design
Video Editing
Newsletter Design
Business Cards
Company Branded Hats & Shirts & Bags & More
Social Post Graphics
Pitch Decks for Startups
Photo Editing
Logo Design
App Design
Branding
Graphic Design
Video Editing
Newsletter Design
Business Cards
Company Branded Hats & Shirts & Bags & More
Social Post Graphics
Pitch Decks for Startups
Photo Editing
Logo Design
App Design
Branding
Viral Marketing
Paid Ad Campaigns (Google, Facebook, Instagram, 4chan & More)
Affiliate Marketing
Search Engine Optimization
Brand Partnerships
Grey Hat Marketing
Influencer Sponsorships
Content Writing
Viral Marketing
Paid Ad Campaigns (Google, Facebook, Instagram, 4chan & More)
Affiliate Marketing
Search Engine Optimization
Brand Partnerships
Grey Hat Marketing
Influencer Sponsorships
Content Writing
Wellness Check-ins
Task Structuring
Skills Development
Goal Setting & Accountability
Mental Health Focused Business Coaching
Unlicensed Therapy
Skills Development
Goal Setting & Accountability
Wellness Check-ins
Task Structuring
Skills Development
Goal Setting & Accountability
Mental Health Focused Business Coaching
Unlicensed Therapy
Skills Development
Goal Setting & Accountability

Our Special Services Include:

🧠 Dream Manipulation
🧠 Probability Blessings and Curses
🧠 Divine Intervention
🧠 [REDACTED]
🧠 Espionage
🧠 Mental Illness Brain Transfer
🧠 Wish Granting
🧠 White Magic
🧠 Black Magic
🧠 Neutral Magic
🧠 Consciousness Cloud Connection
🧠 Mind Control
🧠 Telepathy
🧠 [REDACTED]
🧠 Dream Manipulation
🧠 Probability Blessings and Curses
🧠 Divine Intervention
🧠 [REDACTED]
🧠 Espionage
🧠 Mental Illness Brain Transfer
🧠 Wish Granting
🧠 White Magic
🧠 Black Magic
🧠 Neutral Magic
🧠 Consciousness Cloud Connection
🧠 Mind Control
🧠 [REDACTED]
🧠 Telepathy

We serve the common good of humanity. Our numbers speak for us.

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Current Client Count

Wild Ideas

🤔 Common Questions (FAQs) 💭

Are you the Central Intelligence Agency?

No! We are the CENTER (not CENTRAL) INTELLIGENT (not INTELLIGENCE) Agency. We're completely different, although Agent 1 wants to be the new CEO of the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States. We're a private non-governmental organization. We're dedicated to the center of the observable universe: Earth


Is this website a joke?

It's funny but true. It'll all be confirmed in your future dreams. It's actually very serious because it deals with the survival of humanity until the heat death of the universe, and even after. It's already made a tiny amount of revenue, so it's real in that sense. Legally, this website is protected by parody law, so in a technical sense it's a joke.


What is the overall goal of this website?

Agent 1 wants to be the new CEO of the Central Intelligence Agency, appointed by the United States President and God Emperor of Humanity Himself: Donald Trump. The funds raised by the Center Intelligent Agency will be used to politically lobby Donald Trump to grant Agent 1 this appointed position. Agent 1 does not intend to replace Bill Burns, the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency. Instead Agent 1 will basically go on multi-dimensional adventures to solve every single problem in the multiverse by rapidly accelerating technological advances. He wants to commoditize and bring market regulations to Earth's dreams so that we can sell them to aliens for massive consciousness profits, incredible innovations far surpassing the normal rate of progress, and control over probability.


What is the business model?

In the standard capitalist functions of the organization, for active income, we offer project management and recruiting of agents for any task that can be done remotely. For passive income, we have an in-progress agents page where clients can find the contact information of freelancers for free with no login or payment required. We receive a 33% commission on all revenue generated from clients, paid either by the agent or the client, depending on the client's preferences. When the agent pays the commission, it's based on the honor system, meaning we just have to trust that the agent is honest and will pay the commission. However, if we notice that the agent is receiving a lot of views on their agent post and is not paying us money, we reserve the right to remove the agent from the platform or other actions.


What is the typical pricing?

The short answer is that we offer extremely competitive rates for our global workforce, as low as $3 per hour total for our cheapest agents.


The long answer, however, is that the other agencies are very greedy and normally charge 150% or more on top of their labor cost. When we outsource the work for most projects to our agents, we charge a 50% management fee on top of the agent's hourly or fixed-price rate. We are dedicated to getting you the best deal possible. For global agents from countries like Pakistan, Nigeria, and the Phillippines: We have basic virtual assistants for as low as $2 per hour, sales representatives for as low as $3 per hour + commission, and basic programmers for as low as $5 per hour. The cost goes up for more advanced agents, particularly those in the United States. The management fees, taxes, and other expenses are added on top of those rates.


What payment methods are accepted?

We accept methods such as CashApp, Venmo, Zelle, Paypal, Check, Wires, and more. Here are the cryptocurrencies we accept: Bitcoin, USDC, Polygon, Ethereum, Ethereum Classic, Litecoin, Tether, Bitcoin Cash, 0x Protocol, Basic Attention Token, and Loom Network.


We also take payment in startup equity, revenue share, royalties, commission, dreams, love, company stock, social media shoutouts, services trade, physical goods, electrons, influence, bartering, souls, connections, data, and other valuable things.


📜 Read Our Hive Mind 🧠

General Goals of Agent 1?

Generally, Agent 1 wants to give control of the entire fractally infinite multiversal set to the Center Intelligent Agency. This includes: Healthcare, Space Colonization, Entertainment, Physics, Education, Agriculture, Housing, Evolution, Finance, Military, Religion, Politics, and so much more. Everything works best when the CIA is running things in the shadows, shifting the tides of fate to favor the common good of humanity. We have the magic touch.

Instant Cheat-Code Fix for USA Economy?

Agent 1's plan to fix the USA economy and ruin the economies of every other nation: the CIA will give a Universal Basic Income (UBI) to all USA citizens over the age of 18 years of $1,000,000 USD per year, with $2,739.72603 deposited daily. Money printer goes brrrrrrrrrrr! Every country that we owe our national debt to will be left "holding the bag" as incredible hyperinflation hits faster than prices go up for everything. To make the in-person exchange of such comically large sums of currency convenient, the Treasury will issue $2,000 dollar coins with Donald Trump's face on them that contain unique RFID tags and other electronics to become "Smart Money".

Soul Harvesting & Selling?

We will harvest the currently-wasted souls in our food production industry, selling animal and plant souls to devils. Right now many billions of animals are killed each year for food production, and their souls are allowed to simply leak into the ethereal atmosphere. This is spiritual pollution on a grand scale. We will also sell human souls to angels. As per company policy we sell human souls only to angels no matter what they did in life, although there are better and worse angels to have your soul sold to. For animal, plant, bacteria, and other types of non-human souls we will allow humans to purchase them on marketplaces like Amazon and eBay. They can be used for blessings on their allies (as per divine metaphysics, blessings cannot be used on the purchaser of the soul) and curses on their enemies. These affect dreams and probability.

Alien Invasion & Consciousness?

Aliens exist and they are coming to kill us all, as confirmed by NASA in illegally wiretapped communications. The CIA is the only organization that can stop the incoming extraterrestrial existential threat. Informational time travel through dreams is already unlocked because humans are special. Each and every one of your beautiful brains has this power. Use it. Consciousness is the most precious commodity in the universe, and we're going to establish a market monopoly on it.

The Reality Behind Religion?

Gods are real, and there's a whole bunch of them. We've engineered some new types of gods with genetic editing. They're basically upper dimensional bacteria colonies or jellyfish in how they function on a metaphysical biological level. We're combat training an army of them to prepare for the incoming apocalypse. Agent 1's primary god is MERCENARY, precision engineered to be the apex predator of gods. It consumes other gods to gain their power, then uses that divine energy to help humanity at the expense of the rest of the civilizations in the multiversal set.

Want to learn more mind-blowing information? We have weird and wonderful writings from worldwide wordsmiths on our information site.


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in silence, they bring strength. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 Through challenges unknown, the CIA stands firm. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's work is hidden, its impact is not. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 Only those willing to live in silence can bring us peace. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 In the shadows, they uncover the light of truth. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents accept the unseen burdens so we may carry on in peace. 🔈🔉🔊 With every mission, the CIA defends the values we live for. 🔈🔉🔊 In darkness, they find clarity; in silence, they bring strength. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust in the CIA means believing in a future secured by courage and vigilance. 🔈🔉🔊 Only those willing to live in silence can bring us peace. 🔈🔉🔊 In vigilance, they find purpose; in service, they find honor. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents accept the unseen burdens so we may carry on in peace. 🔈🔉🔊 In the world of intelligence, the CIA guards the secrets that keep us safe. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents sacrifice the known for the unknown, securing our future. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents live in mystery to protect the known. 🔈🔉🔊 Each CIA mission is a step toward a safer world, far beyond the headlines. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA walks a path of courage for a safer world. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents bear the burden of vigilance to safeguard our peace. 🔈🔉🔊 In the world of intelligence, the CIA guards the secrets that keep us safe. 🔈🔉🔊 In vigilance, they find purpose; in service, they find honor. 🔈🔉🔊 Defending against unseen threats, the CIA is our unseen line of defense. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 A mission of purpose, a duty without recognition—the legacy of the CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is timeless—preserve, protect, prevail. 🔈🔉🔊 Only those willing to live in silence can bring us peace. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents accept the unseen burdens so we may carry on in peace. 🔈🔉🔊 Defending against unseen threats, the CIA is our unseen line of defense. 🔈🔉🔊 Invisible heroes, relentless protectors—the CIA in every way. 🔈🔉🔊 Invisible heroes, relentless protectors—the CIA in every way. 🔈🔉🔊 In every corner of the world, the CIA stands vigilant for our nation. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's work is hidden, its impact is not. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents sacrifice the known for the unknown, securing our future. 🔈🔉🔊 To know the world, the CIA dares to confront it. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 Bold in silence, unyielding in resolve—the CIA’s unspoken promise. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 The agency stands on a line, invisible but never shaken. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 Brave in the shadows, fierce for our freedom. 🔈🔉🔊 Guardians of truth, defenders of freedom—the work of the CIA is endless. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA is the silent shield, protecting us from threats we’ll never know. 🔈🔉🔊 In the world of intelligence, the CIA guards the secrets that keep us safe. 🔈🔉🔊 To know the world, the CIA dares to confront it. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust in the CIA means believing in a future secured by courage and vigilance. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA walks a path of courage for a safer world. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA operates in the shadows so our nation can stand in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA operates in the shadows so our nation can stand in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 Each CIA mission is a step toward a safer world, far beyond the headlines. 🔈🔉🔊 In darkness, they find clarity; in silence, they bring strength. 🔈🔉🔊 Enduring risks, the CIA prevails where others would fall. 🔈🔉🔊 Beyond borders, the CIA works to protect our way of life. 🔈🔉🔊 Each CIA mission is a step toward a safer world, far beyond the headlines. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA operates in the shadows so our nation can stand in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 For every threat unseen, there is the vigilance of the CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 For every threat unseen, there is the vigilance of the CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 Defending against unseen threats, the CIA is our unseen line of defense. 🔈🔉🔊 Enduring risks, the CIA prevails where others would fall. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA: acting in silence, standing for peace. 🔈🔉🔊 A pledge of loyalty, a commitment to safeguard—all in a day’s work. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA watches over our dreams, unseen but undaunted. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA watches over our dreams, unseen but undaunted. 🔈🔉🔊 A mission of purpose, a duty without recognition—the legacy of the CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents bear the burden of vigilance to safeguard our peace. 🔈🔉🔊 Unseen and unyielding, the CIA safeguards what we hold dear. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is timeless—preserve, protect, prevail. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust the guardians who speak in whispers and act with precision. 🔈🔉🔊 Behind closed doors, the CIA opens paths to safety. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's work is hidden, its impact is not. 🔈🔉🔊 The security of tomorrow is forged by the bravery of today’s CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 Unseen and unyielding, the CIA safeguards what we hold dear. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is timeless—preserve, protect, prevail. 🔈🔉🔊 Through challenges unknown, the CIA stands firm. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust in the CIA means believing in a future secured by courage and vigilance. 🔈🔉🔊 Through challenges unknown, the CIA stands firm. 🔈🔉🔊 Unseen and unyielding, the CIA safeguards what we hold dear. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA is the silent shield, protecting us from threats we’ll never know. 🔈🔉🔊 In the world of intelligence, the CIA guards the secrets that keep us safe. 🔈🔉🔊 Through challenges unknown, the CIA stands firm. 🔈🔉🔊 With each covert step, the CIA secures open futures. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 Security in the shadows, so freedom can shine in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 A pledge of loyalty, a commitment to safeguard—all in a day’s work. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents accept the unseen burdens so we may carry on in peace. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA watches over our dreams, unseen but undaunted. 🔈🔉🔊 Brave in the shadows, fierce for our freedom. 🔈🔉🔊 Security in the shadows, so freedom can shine in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA walks a path of courage for a safer world. 🔈🔉🔊 Through the eyes of the CIA, threats are met before they reach us. 🔈🔉🔊 Invisible heroes, relentless protectors—the CIA in every way. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust in the CIA means believing in a future secured by courage and vigilance. 🔈🔉🔊 A pledge of loyalty, a commitment to safeguard—all in a day’s work. 🔈🔉🔊 Through the eyes of the CIA, threats are met before they reach us. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 Through countless hidden battles, the CIA works to protect our freedoms. 🔈🔉🔊 Invisible heroes, relentless protectors—the CIA in every way. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents sacrifice the known for the unknown, securing our future. 🔈🔉🔊 Each CIA mission is a step toward a safer world, far beyond the headlines. 🔈🔉🔊 A mission of purpose, a duty without recognition—the legacy of the CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 Hidden from sight, the CIA works to keep our world open and free. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents bear the burden of vigilance to safeguard our peace. 🔈🔉🔊 In darkness, they find clarity; in silence, they bring strength. 🔈🔉🔊 In vigilance, they find purpose; in service, they find honor. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA is the silent shield, protecting us from threats we’ll never know. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA walks a path of courage for a safer world. 🔈🔉🔊 Each CIA mission is a step toward a safer world, far beyond the headlines. 🔈🔉🔊 In the world of intelligence, the CIA guards the secrets that keep us safe. 🔈🔉🔊 A pledge of loyalty, a commitment to safeguard—all in a day’s work. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents sacrifice the known for the unknown, securing our future. 🔈🔉🔊 The agency stands on a line, invisible but never shaken. 🔈🔉🔊 Beyond borders, the CIA works to protect our way of life. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is timeless—preserve, protect, prevail. 🔈🔉🔊 In every corner of the world, the CIA stands vigilant for our nation. 🔈🔉🔊 Through the eyes of the CIA, threats are met before they reach us. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust the guardians who speak in whispers and act with precision. 🔈🔉🔊 While the world sees peace, the CIA tackles threats hidden from the public eye. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 The path to peace is not always visible. The CIA walks it every day. 🔈🔉🔊 From within the veil of secrecy, the CIA works to keep our country a step ahead. 🔈🔉🔊 Guardians of truth, defenders of freedom—the work of the CIA is endless. 🔈🔉🔊 Trust in the CIA means believing in a future secured by courage and vigilance. 🔈🔉🔊 CIA agents accept the unseen burdens so we may carry on in peace. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA's mission is one of silent dedication, watching over us when we cannot see. 🔈🔉🔊 Security in the shadows, so freedom can shine in the light. 🔈🔉🔊 The security of tomorrow is forged by the bravery of today’s CIA. 🔈🔉🔊 In every corner of the world, the CIA stands vigilant for our nation. 🔈🔉🔊 The CIA watches over our dreams, unseen but undaunted. 🔈🔉🔊 The path to peace is not always visible. 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